Blast from the past….

I wanted to post one of my favorite ever blogs that I’ve written from all the way back on August 20, 2007. I had just begun my freshman year at Oral Roberts University, and was awkwardly making friends.

Grab some popcorn and a cool drink and enjoy the first episode of “The Adventures of College Life.”


Harry, before the crime

It was a warm, musky Friday night when Kaley Herndon and I, Joy Bork decided to go to Wal-Mart and buy lawn gnomes. But alas, this was not the real beginning of the adventure. That started when I asked Kaley what she thought about the dwindling population of Lawn Gnomes in our society today. Kaley didn’t have a complete answer, but I filled in with my amazing improv speech skills…
And I quote:

“Assets of Lawn Gnomes in our soceity:
1) They keep our gardens safe from bunnies and other small rodents.
2) They help enhance the air because of their protection of green plant life.
3) They make our homes and dorms look warm and inviting.”

Upon this convincing speech, Kaley and I were moved to help the dwindling population. We made a exodus to our local Wal-Mart. As we entered into the garden department, we noticed how small the lawn gnome population really was, because of the small selection thereof. Upon arriving in the garden glamour section, we found our two gnomes. lovingly named them Harry and Fred. It was a lovely evening afterwards. They trekked all over the store with us finding lint rollers, boxes, white boards and many other college life necessities. Upon arriving back at the dorm, we gave our gnomes a woman’s touch, since their wardrobe was clearly in need of it. Then we placed them in their places of glory…on the left side of each of our doorways. We were then moved to run around the circular halls of our dorm with PVC blowguns that shoot amazing ammo: Marshmallows. While I was being chased, I was looking for Harry, my gnome, as a reference point as to the location of my residence. After missing my room two or so times, I realized that HARRY WAS GONE!

Melissa making lost signs

So, as the good protector that I am, I went after Harry. Kaley and I recruited several others to aid in our search: Melissa, Starla, and another Melissa. We scouered our floor, Janine’s floor, and a few other places. When our search turned up no leads, we came back to my room (Search HQ) to regroup and come up with a new plan. One of my comrades suggested making lost notes.

Kaley and Fred, her gnome

So, all four of us began creating art in the effort of having Harry returned to us. Kaley then posted the notes all over the floor, and put a petition in the elevator. We then decided to rest and let God do the work.

After some time, all evidence pointed towards my next door neighbor, Hannah, as the thief of my lawn gnome. The evidence was mounting…a comment made before the crime (“Joy?!?! What is this evil troll lady thing doing outside your door??!?!?), an observation after the crime (“So, you guys are making lost signs?”), and evidence later on from two seperate conversations:
My roomate, Mattie: “I heard Harry was in the bathroom!”
Me: “Who told you that?”
Mattie: “Hannah.”

Starla, one of our artists, making lost signs.

Evidence also came from a conversation on the way back from an evening chapel service with a connection to the thief (Drew)…
Him:” Joy! Do you know who stole your gnome?”
Me: “I have my suspicions.”
Him: “Who?”
Me: “My next door neighbor, Hannah.”
Him: “You’re probably right…and I think you should get her back.”
Both of us: *Evil laugh*

The evidence is all pointing in Hannah’s direction, and only God can convict her to confess the truth before God and us.

So ends your first glimpse into my college life.

Hannah, the gnome thief

Kaley with the lost signs


Sometimes I wonder how I graduated college with friends. It is so fun to look back and see what adventures I had then…and to dream about what adventures are to come!

  1. You went to ORU?! How cool 🙂


  2. […] create an advertisement.  It could advertise anything…so naturally, in the face of my recent saga with lawn gnomes, I created an ad for “The Lawn Gnome Society.”  It only makes sense, […]


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