chews like a cow.

I have a very vivid memory of the day I verbalized one of my pet peeves. Mom, Janine, and I were sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast (I’m pretty sure it was cereal). It was a normal day. We were probably about to do school. Something kept bombarding my psyche…and it wasn’t pretty.
It was the sound of my sister chewing.
I had to say something. I couldn’t hold it in. I couldn’t even think – my thoughts were pummeled by the chewing.
It seemed to get louder and louder.
“MOM. MAKE HER STOP. SHE SOUNDS LIKE A COW!”
Even in typing that, I realize the absurdity of it all. Make her stop (Despite all of my hoping moms can’t give anti-chewing orders.), she sounds like a cow (I don’t believe i’ve ever isolated the sound of a cow chewing to make an accurate comparison). Well. I guess it was the best I could do in that moment.
Absurd as it is, I despise chewing sounds. I’ve told groups that i’ve lead abroad that I will freely tell them to chew with their mouths closed if I happen to hear them wherever we are at. Open mouthed gum chewing drives me bonkers. I literally can’t.
But if I do happen to hear you chewing, rest assured I won’t compare you to a cow. It’ll probably be something i’ve heard before…like a camel…or a dog.

  1. Got it. 😐

    Reply

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